Arts Lab 7.0: Mohamed Eddaif | Month III

This month felt like a long messy page from my own notebook, full of small things that stuck with me. this winter was the first time I saw snow again since I was five, and watching it fall made everything feel softer and quieter, like the world had been put on pause. The cold, the hot drinks, the scarves, those little winter vibes woke something in me and made normal days feel a bit more alive.

We had a secret santa and that whole thing was weirdly beautiful, the mystery of who gave what, the notes, the sweets. i spent time trying to be creative for the person i picked, thinking about how to make them feel seen, and at the same time people made me feel seen too with small treats and messages and little surprises. I kept wondering who my secret santa was while trying to be thoughtful for someone else, that mix of giving and guessing made the house feel warm.

The moment we let our secret santas know was actually the best, seeing them open their gifts and smile, laugh, that kind of happiness that spreads. it was like it was going to be one of those memories that I’d hold, faces, sounds, joy. For a moment, our home was full of that kind of life, and it was perfect.

But as Christmas approached, people began to drift away, going to spend time with families or traveling, and it slowly got quieter and colder. It felt like it was a glimpse of what was to come, of how things would be empty after everyone moved on. It really struck me as to how much life there was because of the presence of people, and how much it lacked when they were gone.

My birthday was just like any other day, I thought it would be different since I was in a new place with new people, but it wasn’t, which was surprising for me. Perhaps I was hoping for something exciting but what I ended up realizing was how accustomed I was to having normal days, which was alright. The quiet time after was helpful, though it helped me get my head together, meditate a bit, address some issues I was holding on to, learn more about myself.

But then everyone came back and it was like it was normal again, but I did notice that I was holding back because I was already thinking about how it would end, and I know that’s not right. I would like to enjoy it while it’s here and not worry about it so much. It was a month of warm and quiet times, of learning to pay attention to others, to give and to receive kindness, and to think and reflect while alone. I would like to remember more days here, and to be braver about enjoying things fully before they’re gone.

This monthly report was written by Mohamed Eddaif, our Moroccan volunteer taking part in a six-month Arts Lab 7.0 mobility, co-funded by the European Union under the European Solidarity Corps.